In a world that puts conditions on worth, success and affection, my parents did something radical; they loved me unconditionally. This love shaped me into the person I am today, and so this is a love letter to them.
Being lucky enough to grow up in a household with two parents who expressed their love for each other, me and my two little brothers daily, I learnt what unconditional love was fairly early on in life.
The definition of unconditional love is when you love someone no matter what and have no expectation of repayment.
It means you love someone for who they are, no strings attached, according to an article written for Psych Central.
It is the unselfish love of someone, wanting them to be happy, healthy and safe without any gain for yourself. In short, it’s the purest form of love one can experience.
It’s also the rarest.
To love someone no matter what, to constantly give with no guarantee of return, to give your whole heart to someone knowing they could break it at any moment; it’s a scary concept.
But when it’s reciprocated, there’s no greater feeling.
As a child I learnt that love can be shown in many different ways. Evident in every sports event they showed up to, every late night when I was ill, every achievement, big or small, that was celebrated.
These acts of love have made me who I am today. I will be forever grateful for this gift they’ve given me.
This is the power of unconditional love, the surety that you will be supported, that you will be protected, that you will be forgiven.
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But the power is also not wanting to upset them, of not wanting to make mistakes and betraying their trust, of wanting to show that you love them unconditionally as well.
From birth to death, their love will remain the one constant I can rely on. How do I know that? Because it’s unconditional.
Unconditional love isn’t reserved for just family though. I have largely unrealistic and hopelessly romantic views about love and finding ‘the one’ thanks to my parents as well.
Meeting when my mum was just 16, in May 1995, marrying in 2008, and still being together today, 30 years on, it’s fair to say they are the poster couple for relationships.
They have shown me that unconditional love can be experienced alongside romantic love. That the love we have for our respective partners can turn into life-long devotion and comradeship.
That isn’t to say they aren’t without their flaws.
From my dad’s inability to remember something unless repeated five times, to my mum’s incapability to be wrong, they certainly have a lot to bicker about.
But that’s the defining factor of unconditional love, recognising each other’s flaws and loving them even more because of them. Unconditional love is making the choice to accept that person for who they are, over and over again.
So my parents didn’t break any records, or change the world; what they did was smaller, but it changed my life.
They just loved me, without restrictions, without conditions.
And that was the most extraordinary thing they could’ve done.
