If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is there to hear it – did it make a sound? It’s a question that’s been around forever – even if the answer is fairly obvious (yes). But it’s not a question of whether it happened, it’s more of whether it mattered. It’s a thought experiment we can apply to our everyday lives:
If you did something good, and nobody was there to see it – did it even matter?
I mean – what motivates you to be good? Is it the feeling of doing something right because it’s right, or is the thought that people may have been watching you and commending you a motivating factor?
When I think of someone doing kind acts without an audience, I think of a community fridge. You put items in that you want to donate… and you walk away. There is no fanfare, no meeting. Just place what you can in the fridge, and leave.
They’re not moments to snap, or to trend – it won’t end you up on Ellen, but it will have made someone’s day – and surely, that’s all that should matter.
With today’s age of social media, I fear we’ve kind of lost this ideology. Whether or not it’s making someone’s day has become irrelevant when placed next to the reward of likes or fame. And whilst it may be good that acts of kindness are being done regardless, it unfortunately opens us up to the possibility of these acts being faked.
What is the point of that? That’s just egregiously selfish. To do it for the likes is one thing, but to fake the whole thing all together? What’s unfortunate is that it’s these videos that normally get the best engagement, leading to others trying to recreate the formula, ending us up with a plethora of videos of fake acts of kindness.
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Maybe it’s an exaggeration, but it’s something I’ve seen way too many times. Age-old acts of kindness, like helping an old woman cross the street, are becoming far and few between – unless they can be broadcast on social media in some way.
It’s made it so ‘extraordinary’ people can only be those that have chosen to broadcast their acts and showcase their kindness to the world. Whilst that is great and powerful, I think I’m starting to question whether or not the real winners are the ones who do things when nobody is watching – when nobody will thank them and no credit will come their way.
Just them, their conscience, and a choice.
The whole situation makes me really stop and think sometimes. When faced with the possibility to do something kind, I ask myself: Would I still do this if it was anonymous? I think asking that has reshaped the way I view kindness.
Personally, I don’t like sharing the good deeds I do with other people. It makes it seem like I’m bragging about the positivity I put out into the world – but at the same time, I sometimes would like people to know I do good things. Does that make me selfish?
No. I don’t think so. I think it makes me human. To want to feel validation from others is a common thing, and you shouldn’t have to be punished so greatly for that. It’s whether or not you do the acts FOR the validation, instead of it just being something on the side that makes a difference.
These people who broadcast their kindness are great – we need public heroism to inspire others to do the same. But we shouldn’t forget the power of the private act – the things done when nobody is watching.
If we want a better world, we don’t need more witnesses – we need more kindness.
So… what would you do if nobody was watching?
