Since its creation in 2017, the charity has grown all over South Yorkshire and Derbyshire, creating over 2,500 new friendships.

I joined the Gleadless group on a day where they were making fruity mocktails, and spoke to some of the locals about their experience at b:friend.

Shirley said: “My favourite part is the company, the laughter, and the jokes. All of the people here are lovely and make us feel very welcome. Basically everything is a memory, at my age anyway.”

One of the original members of the Gleadless club, Jean, said: “I love coming and not knowing what we’re going to be doing. I’ve made friends here too, and we love the quizzes and games.”

Nina, who is lifelong friends with Jean, said: “I’ve been coming for two and a half years, and I’d recommend it to anyone, I really would.”

Of course there are also some sad moments in b:friend’s community. However, people find comfort from each other with shared experiences, such as bereavement.

“Sometimes it gets emotional. There was a time when a gentleman, during a dancing class, heard an Elvis Presley song and burst into tears, as it was the anniversary of his wife’s death and it was her favourite song. Everybody gathered around to console him.”

This story helps remind us all of the compassion that others can have in a newfound community.

Creating b:friend

With a career of working in the charity sector, Colette Bunker has been CEO of b:friend for nearly three years. She spoke highly of Mike’s story.

Mike Niles founded the charity from his parents’ garage in Doncaster, after experiencing isolation during his time as a digital marketing student at university in London.

“He got involved in a charity where he was connected with an older neighbour called Mitzy. She was very shy at first and had been isolated for a long time, but slowly but surely she started to come out of her shell and they got on like a house on fire.

“Mike wanted to inspire people to look out for their neighbours and community, and was very much an advocate for saying ‘hello’ across a garden fence, on a park bench, or at a bus stop.”

With b:friend, older people over 65 can be matched with a volunteer, who will visit them once a week for a coffee and a chat.

After volunteers have been DBS checked, and the neighbour’s home is confirmed safe to visit, it’s over to the neighbour and volunteer to get chatting.

Colette said: “Recently we have introduced quite a few more check-ins, like little surveys or phone calls, texts, just to make sure that volunteers feel looked after and that we’re keeping in touch with them.”

A huge achievement by the charity is being awarded the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service, giving staff and a volunteer the opportunity to visit Buckingham Palace for the ceremony.

“It’s a really prestigious award. We were so delighted for that, it really showed the impact that our volunteers had made. 

“Without them we couldn’t do the work we do.”

Having met lots of the neighbours during her work at the charity, Colette spoke of the struggles that they’ve been through, which has drawn them to b:friend.

“Loneliness isn’t a condition where you can take medication, being lonely can make someone feel shameful – and it’s not, it can happen to any one of us. For them, life happened and suddenly they found themselves alone.

“I always find it a really brave thing to say, “yeah I need help”, because there is a stigma around loneliness.”

It’s important to take loneliness and social isolation seriously. The American Medical Association found that these can negatively impact both physical and mental health, with increased risk of ‘high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, memory issues and even death.’

Some people are well mentally, but are unfortunately less mobile due to their bodily health complications.

“Another chap I met while filming for a fundraiser, he was full of life and chat, was so funny and didn’t stop talking – but it was just his body that had let him down, and his mobility was really poor so he couldn’t get outside.

“As much as he was willing, he just wasn’t able. As soon as you’re stuck behind those four walls, your options are so limited.”

Alongside their befriending service, the charity has 14 social clubs hosted by one of the 10 paid staff, and over 250 social club members. After getting their confidence back with befriending, some neighbours reach to join the local clubs which hold different activities each week. 

Back when Mike launched the charity, he was keen on showing that elderly aren’t dull, they don’t just like bingo and coffee mornings, but people with a huge wealth of humour, experiences, and stories. 

Colette said: “b:friend is about challenging ageism too, and not closing people’s expectations and opportunities off just because of age.”

From boxing, to ballet, street art design, mocktail making and tattoo designing – there’s so much to get involved in.

If you’re interested in this story, check out the group taking the fight to community centre closures in Surrey here.

Making memories at weekly social clubs

The CEO recalls a shocking, yet funny memory from during a tattoo designing session.

“The designs were meant to be something meaningful to them, and one lady did the cartoon Tweety Pie. I can’t remember what the story was behind it, but after she went and actually had the tattoo done.

“The stories you hear are so lovely. One lady once brought in a picture of her in full ballet regalia, from when she was an award winning ballerina.”

With many more stories from the frontlines of the social clubs, Sara Kopecsni, Senior Communications Officer and leader of Gleadless’s social club, said she found accomplishment in seeing the locals having fun while getting involved.

“Some people join the clubs with their friends and we see them have a stronger friendship because they see each other more often.

“Seeing them joking around, even flirting sometimes, is so fun. Just because they’re getting older doesn’t mean that life has to be boring.”

Even at an older age, the neighbours still find ways to reclaim their youth.

“One lady used to make cakes for events. She brought in photo albums one time, and with a cheeky smile she showed a cake from a stag party which had cake-modelled naked ladies on them. That’s something you wouldn’t expect from an almost-90 year old lady.”

Even if people join on their own, the clubs are really welcoming and look after each other, even making plans outside of the clubs.

“One of the gents has started joining some ladies once a month to go on a trip to the Peak District. It’s lovely to see and gives people a sense of belonging; no matter what you’re not forgotten and have friends who care for you.”

Fundraising projects by the charity

Alongside their social clubs and befriending, b:friend are focused on their projects where they can involve their volunteers and older neighbours.

From recipe books to Christmas singles, the charity says it’s always looking for new ways to show off their community’s talent. 

Sara said: “We had some shows which we called b:heard where we hired a little theatre in Doncaster, giving our neighbours the opportunity to tell interesting life stories and be in the spotlight.

“We also produced a calendar last year which featured twists on iconic photos and poses – from Elvis, to the Beatles, and Marilyn Monroe. We are so proud of the calendar and it has raised £2,500.”

As a small charity, much of their funding comes from gracious donations and corporate fundraising relationships, including HSBC, Sky, Intelligent Pensions, and Strata Homes.

Colette said: “Our biggest supporter to date was Strata, who chose us as their charity of the year in 2022. They did amazing things all culminating in a charity ball, which they invited us to. They raised £145,000, which is unheard of for a charity our size.

“We really rely on these relationships to keep us moving forward and growing.”

With the Strata money, b:friend was able to expand their operations into Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire.

“We got somebody there who knew the area patch, and she’s doing really well. We’re starting to build a reputation in the area, and it fits really nicely as there wasn’t anyone else doing anything similar to us there.

“Then in Derbyshire, the demand was so high, and we managed to secure some funding to establish another club in the area.”

b:friend’s bright future

Finally, I asked Colette what the future held for the brilliant charity.

In terms of their annual project, there may be a return of song and dance from the charity.

“We were thinking of maybe a song, having our older neighbours forming a choir that we can record.”

With no signs of b:friend’s growth stopping, they’re introducing a new model for friendship.

“We’re experimenting with a model of volunteer-led social clubs. Now we have a few clubs run by wonderful people who want to help people in their area. We help them with the venue and cover costs, but essentially they’re giving their time to get people together.

“We have the best team doing the best job possible for the neighbours. It’s important to ensure they have everything they need to continue being successful and happy in their roles.”

To read more about communities stepping up to support others, click here